Thursday, September 30, 2004

Ten MORE Questions That You Won't Hear at the Debates

Yesterday's list was so much fun, I thought I would try it again. Who knows? Maybe if Larry King is hard up for material, he will ask some of these the next time he snags a third-party candidate for an interview.

10. When reporters were choosing who got the "blue" states and who got the "red" states, do you think they were just trying to explain to their editors the presence of poker chips in the conference room?
9. Late at night, when everyone else has gone to bed and you can't sleep, do you ever really wonder what the meaning of word "is" is?
8. At those pancake breakfast fund-raisers, has a supporter ever accused you of not flip-flopping them enough?
7. If your vice president's heart had to be surgically replaced, would you prefer he recieve a human heart, a pig's heart, or some kind of super-human cyborg implant?
6. Do you think Sauron's pursuit of the One Ring is a U.N. matter?
5. If Jimmy Carter offered you advice, would you (a) ask him about that "killer rabbit", (b) call him "Mr. Peanut", or (c) nominate him for the Nobel Peace Prize and hope he goes away?
4. If you were a contestant on THE APPRENTICE, would you be tempted to pinch Donald Trump's cheeks in the board room?
3. Who do you consider more trustworthy and accurate, Dan Rather and CBS News, Fox News, or the average Muppet News Flash?
2. Would you support human cloning, if it was restricted to the female members of the cast of Baywatch?
1. Have your aides ever caught you before a debate practicing "Do you want fries with that?"

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